Struggling with this miscarriage.

I can't stop thinking how at this time last week I was happily pregnant. My HCG was steady and high and my SO and I were thrilled to welcome this little baby next year.. This baby would be coming after the death of losing a parent. I was happy to be tired and have sore boobs and be bloated.. I was just elated.. I can't help but keep wondering WHY. Did I do something wrong..was it my workout that day, or the sex we had the night before..it HAD to have been something I did. Then out of nowhere it all just came crashing down on us. One day we were thinking of names, the next I was passing huge blood clots. Now I'm just so sad. My pregnancy symptoms are basically gone. My womb feels empty and my heart feels so shattered. I just dont get how it happened so fast. Logically I get it had to happen. But I can't stop the tears and the wondering.. I've read and heard ur very fertile after a mc. I'm gonna be a nervous wreck if we get pregnant again..I pray we get pregnant again soon..I pray that baby stays inside of me growing healthy..But for now my heart just aches for what could've been. I have to face reality tomorrow and go back to work with all my pregnant co workers and I just hope I can keep it together. So much love to all of u ladies that understand this pain and have gotten thru it. There's nothing like losing a child no matter how early or far along, it all hurts the same.