Feeling like nothing I do is good enough 😢

Long but I need to get it out! ........ My husband and I have been together for 5 years we have a beautiful 4month old baby girl who looks just like him. He has an amazing job where he makes about $200,000 a year and I stay at home. His job takes a lot of him, he works SO MUCH! He takes care of all of the bills and finances while I’m supposed to do everything with the house (inside anyway) and with the baby. Well I’ve never been the cleanest person ever. Im not organized, I’ll wait until there’s a sink full of dishes to do them, or until the trash has been shoved down so much that you have to change the bag to put anything else in there. I know it’s not ideal but it’s the way I’ve always been. We have gotten into a few fights over cleaning the house. He doesn’t do anything around the house it’s all on me. I thought I would get better with cleaning now that I’m a stay at home mom but honestly it’s not any better.

My problem isn’t that he wants a cleaner home, I do too. (And for the record it’s not so much dirty but it’s cluttered I feel like there’s stuff everywhere.) What bothers me is the fact that he makes me feel like shit about it. Like I’m not a good person because I’m not a perfect home maker. He feels like I take for granted being able to stay home. Whenever the house is clean and tidy he still finds something to complain about. Or say that vacuuming and laundry don’t count as cleaning the house. He thinks I just want to put my feet up all day while he works.

Also he has been throwing it in my face that he has to give me money all the time. He’ll say things like, “you can’t manage to clean the house but you ask for money all the fucking time” and it really just hurts! I’m not out spending money on myself it’s for the house for our daughter.

Maybe I’m wrong but I need advice! Advice on being more productive and clean... or ways I can explain myself to him. I don’t want to keep fighting over the same things over and over again. All I want to do is be better for my family. Thanks everyone!