EX-BOYFRIEND DRAMA ALERT📣📣

alright ya'll, so this is gonna be interesting. My ex and I dated for 6 months. during those 6 months however, it felt like an emotional rollercoaster for me, because he woukdnt give me what I needed, and that was romance and love. now, he told me that he loved me after about I wanna say two months of dating. fast, I know, but I felt the same. BUT THEN, months later, he tells me he doesnt actually know he loves me and that you can never tell. and YET he says he still loves me. confusing, right? now I am not blaming the entire relationship on him. granted I was miserable all the time because it felt like he didnt care and I kept second guessing EVERYTHING. ya'll, I would literally get upset every TWO days!!! Imagine dating someone like that. I was pretty bad. so, cut to our first fight, it was over the possibility of me being pregnant and having STI's. now the fight wasnt centered around that, but it stemmed from that and it was hard because he had had sex with about 14 girls and never used protection and never checked if they were safe. But it was mostly because I was tired of feeling like less of a priority. i tried breaking up with him, but he fought for me so I stayed, because he truly is a nice guy dont get me wrong. he has never done anything to hurt me, but it was the fact that it just didnt feel like a relationship, and he's my first real love and the first guy I had sex with. so, cutting to the actual breakup weeks later, I ended it. he asked if we could start over and be friends and tey to work it out. I was definately on board, but then our conflicting schedules got WAY too busy and it was hard to hang out. I tried to make plans or atleast hangout for just an hour but he wouldnt make the time, granted though he was busy, and he did try and make some plans as well but by then I was over it. I kept blocking him and just trying to move on. but ya'll it's so fucking hard. I'd always end up unblocking him. SO, cut to now, I've been hooking up with this guy and he went on a date with a girl. we were obviously kinda jealous but were happy for each other. then last night we ended up hooking up and IT WAS THE BEST SEX I HAVE EVER HAD. I am not lying, we fucking missed each other. so, I thought maybe we could finally settle our differences and be friends and maybe have a relationship again. but what does he do the next day? he had asked me to hookup again when he got out of work at 1. cut to 7:00 today he told me he was at the beach with the girl and that turns she does like him, and he does as well. like, wtf?? so i played nice and told him that I was kinda upset but nice and hope that it works out for them. he kept telling me I was important but I told him we couldnt be friends anymore because it would be inappropriate with this new girl if they get together. but then all this rage inside me fired up and I cussed him out and went on this rage about how I actually dont mean a thing to him. so, what do ya'll think? I know a lot of you are going to call me crazy, but fuck it. this is how insane I am when a man plays with my heart.