I cant talk to my friends about this because they hate my ex and i also dont want anyone to know. So im just gonna vent here. So here's some background information to start: I'm 17 and so is my ex. We started dating in October of 2016 (when we were 15) and were together until April of 2018 though he broke up with me five times throughout that year and a half because he was emotionally unavailable, bad at communicating, and struggled with his mental health and felt the need to push people away. We decided to still be friends but he was pretty cold and distant and made it obvious he wanted little to do with me (he says he was in a really dark place) and I told him the breakup was 100% permanent. Then at the end of May (I'm talking May 30th or 31st) I started talking to this extremely attractive new coworker (I'll call him B) who I had literally just met (we started talking nonstop after our first shift together that day) and we were really hitting it off and expressed how much we liked each other. We hung out a few times, hardcore flirted, made out in the backseat of my car, and tried to make as much contact as possible whenever possible. But then a friend of B's passed away in a gruesome way and he told me he was a different person and he was going through too much and needed us to just be friends for a bit(we weren't an official couple, we told coworkers we were just friends (though they all made comments about us being a couple) but he did call me his girl often and his girlfriend once). So I supported the just friends thing and that's what we are now. My ex hates B though even though he's never met him. he's been a lot less cold recently however and we've been spending more time together. yesterday I kissed him and today he ate me out and we had sex. I feel like I should feel guilty or at least feel something but I don't. I don't know if it'll happen again, I dont know if it'll happen with B. And I don't know how I feel about the situation. my ex has been expressing how big of a mistake it was for him to leave me ever since I started talking about B and now he's been telling me he's in love with me but I told him it was only casual before anything happened. I'm also not a casual sex type of person so it's especially weird. The biggest thing I can think about is how awkward it would be if I wound up pregnant especially if B decides he wants to be something more again.