With POAS....This is a venting session/TMI but if you scroll to the last chunk of phrases I have questions...plz help if you can...

Here is a gif of me sitting in the restroom tryna recoup from my BFN and wondering if it’s been 24 to 48hrs yet...

I JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE from 6/9-6/15 and was originally told I could try to conceive as soon as the bleeding stopped. So, Thas what me and my hubby did! We GOT IT IN!!!

Bding has to be me and my hubbies favorite hobby. But I made sure we did it every other day during the fertile week to be sure his swimmers were mature enough to get through my internal obstacle course. We felt accomplished!

We knew this was IT!!! But during my fertile week My OB already had scheduled an appointment for an ultrasound. She scheduled an ultrasound for me previously because during pregnancy hormones are crazy and She wanted to see had my fibroids grown or if I had developed any knew polyps etc. The next day I gotta a call from my OB to come in to discuss the results of my ultra sound. Naturally I was scared and confused. My next appointment with her is July 27....why couldn’t this wait???

I got to the appointment alone because hubby couldn’t get off on such short notice, only to hear I had fibroids and polyps everywhere. My lining was 20mm thick and the corpus luteum appeared to be in tact with a twin cyst beside it. I needed a D&C; to establish a safe home for little one.

I couldn’t process it. I left without asking questions. I broke down n the car. Immediately I felt disgusted and guilty looking at the transcript from the ultrasound. Then I was overwhelmed. Could I get pregnant in my tubes!?? Was the corpus luteum formed and in tact from the miscarriage or could I have ovulated at the time of the ultrasound?!? I have sooooo many questions but I can’t get an appointment with my OB until July 27th. I keep POAS cuz I’m scared of being pregnant in my tubes. Or having another miscarriage. Idk how to feel RN. My heart is heavy.

Words of encouragement and insight would be greatly appreciated