I get really depressed and emotional towards my period, I don't believe I actually have depression as my doctors told me it is only hormones and I would grow out of it. most of the time I'm fine. but this time....I'm not. I hate it. it's fourth of July and my boyfriend left to go to a bunch of parties without me because I'm so uncomfortable, unhappy and couldn't bare to try and make small talk with anyone right now. I'm all bloated, none of my clothes fit and it's just under 100 degrees outside now, I'm sitting at home in bed crying because I just can't seem to ever do anything right. he thinks I'm just being a bratty little bitch...which I can understand but times like these my anxiety goes so far through the roof I just don't think I could handle it.

when I get like this I start thinking to the root of the problem and I think everything is wrong. I start to think what if I just move out of our house and never come back or make any contact with him again...and then realize most of the time I always stay because besides my boyfriend and my parents all I have is my dog who I could never leave behind but I could never separate him from my boyfriend either. I don't think I love him anymore...and honestly I don't think he really loves me anymore. I get that I'm a giant pain in the ass, but if someone I loved was in this type of pain or mindset, I wouldn't walk out the door and tell them to go to hell like what just happened to me. I would at least try to talk to them and get to the problem. I just don't know what to do, or anything. I'd rather not start all over but I really don't think this relationship is going to last, much like my bad week of emotions. just needed a place to talk a little...I have no one I could talk to about any of this.

he also owes be about $2k and I'd even forget about it if we were to end it. I just don't care anymore.