Not asking anyone to read this, just venting bc I don’t really know where to turn rn.

I have a four month old that is my whole world. He has never met his biological father, and his biological father confirmed the other day that he wants nothing to do with him. He was abusive, used and sold drugs, and was unmedicated bipolar, so it’s his loss, it’s just still difficult. We broke up when I found out I was pregnant bc he wanted me to get an abortion and when I refused he put his hands on me.

I began seeing my ex (not the biological father) again in December. We had dated on and off for about 5 years but we were young and dumb and so it just took us a while to find our way back to each other.

Today, we went on the most perfect date to the aquarium with my son. We got to see the fish and pet stingrays and it was honestly perfect. On our way to get food after, he was pulled over for not having a front license plate. He was arrested for a warrant for a probation violation because he had gone on vacation out of state and someone reported him.

Most of my “friends” don’t talk to me anymore because I have a baby now, and I’m still pretty young so they’d rather party n shit and I stopped doing all that when I found out I was pregnant. My bf was all I had tbh, not by choice but just bc so many people walked out of my life.

I’m now afraid I’m pregnant again. I couldn’t take birth control because of some health issues, and although we were careful, you’re most fertile the year after you have a baby. I’m having the same symptoms I had when I first found out I was pregnant with my son.

I had to quit my job because I was working from home and as my son has transitioned out of the sleep all day newborn phase, I wasn’t able to keep up with his needs while working.

Everything is falling apart at once and I don’t know what to do anymore. I have nobody to talk to and nowhere to turn.