he was the one...

i loved him. i’ve been abused my whole life in relationships. boys, girls, parents. i kind of accepted the fact that nobody could ever truly love me. i’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and adhd since i was tiny. but one day this boy came along and changed it all. he made me a better person and i was so happy !!! it’s like the suicidal thoughts completely left when i had him near me or even just a text from him would keep me smiling all day. he unexpectedly asked for a break three days ago and hasn’t contacted me since. i tried to kill myself as soon as it happened. my happiness left with him. i really thought he loved me. silly me believed him when he said he’d never leave me and then reality tapped on my shoulder and reminded me how worthless i am... happiness was just a phase. how do i fix this? i want my happiness back. i want him back. i want the pain to stop.