I’m crying😭😭

I drove past My Old house from when I was Really young and saw it knocked down. Along with all the houses my friends lived in.

I’m so upset. And I can’t talk to my partner about it.

My Grandfather’s house whom I never met.

My House That I was in for 2 years before moving to the Town I’m in now.

And My Bestie’s House Who We Both carver our Names into the Wooden Porch.

I’m so freaking down because I can’t talk to anyone and My family looks at me like “you remember that house?!”

Obviously I remember the House My Dog Died In front of.

My parents are like “I’m so pissed” and Me an My Sister are siting her crying our fucking eyes out.

I don’t know how to deal with this. And I feel like I’m fucking drowning again! I Feel like I can’t breathe but I am breathing. I’m talking to My Aunt Lisa. Yet I feel like My lungs are being Filled with Like Sand or something. Bc I’m Freaking... I just Wanna Curl up in a Ball and Cry. Instead of sitting here with my aunt Telling me “Banks are BullShit and everything is BullShit”

She sounds like Nancy from Stranger things!!

My heart has Literally fallen And Cracked like a Egg in two.

My Lungs feel like they are being filled.

And My brain feels like Mush.

My Medicine isn’t helping me. I can’t calm down.

I wanna feel okay. I don’t feel okay. I’m scared and I dont know why. I wanna scream but I can’t or I’ll lose my voice.

I wanna feel okay again. I wanna Stop Feeling So Strange....

I’m typing this and a dog is licking my feet.. help..😭😂 I’m laughing while crying and It just Hurts my chest more and more. Ugh..