okay this is a long story.. I’ve always been one to do the online/ ldr dating (I don’t recommend it) but anyways I’ve still had my fair share of guys being a 21 year old virgin & still never having a first kiss. so I get a lot of guys trying to get into my pants, whether it’s a decent convo & then they start talking about their dick or things are going good & then wanna do the same. point is, I’m tired of it, so tired & I do think I’m ready for something real with someone. so I have a POF profile & was being cautious on who I was getting involved with, still bit me in the ass, & I was really getting it the point of deleting it because I’m just tired of the bullshit, so I came across this guy, expecting him to be the same, he wasn’t at all.

he’s the sweetest guy that I have ever came across, those were the vibes I have ever had with someone. never been this selfless about anyone & feel strongly.. our convos were so beautiful, he’s literally all that I’ve prayed for. & I savor our convos. though he lives in a city a little hour away (I AM NOT MAKING EXCUSES FOR ANYONE FOR THE REST OF THE STORY) he helps his dad provide, we hadn’t met or video chatted.. texted after his work hours & gym time. we basically we’re together so he said lol he told me about his ex, she was possessive, didn’t trust him, wanted proof to know who/ where he was with, she was just bad to him. & I never understood why he told me but she started coming around, texting him to talk, coming by after hours like 11pm at night to talk to him & his family would tell him that he didn’t want to speak basically harassing him & his family. I didn’t like it but long story she got her brother involved thinking he’d make my guy rethink her. he repeatedly told the 2 of them & to her all the time, that he didn’t want to speak to his ex because he was moving on with me so the 2 fought, the bro pushed it & my guy is a boxer so her parents pushed charges. so he ended up being in jail for a couple days before his trusted friend told me, I was so devastated. I had trust issues telling me that it was all fake even with us waiting on a hearing for him. his trusted friend & I became friends, he was happy for us about my guy & I. I remember the voicemail ): he talked about me so much. he’s been in jail since late April, I found out things up until the beginning June because the trusted friend stopped messaging me. here went my crazy thoughts. so I didn’t know if I should start giving up, I just started my walk with God & I’m being tested to the highest rn, I’m always praying what to do. but I decided to make another POF after deleting the one I had, it wasn’t for a boyfriend, just a friend. It’s hard to move on so that’s why I was searching for only friends. I swear I didn’t go searching for this guy, & he didn’t search for me, I messaged him first. another boxer from the same city my guy lives in, so I gave it a shot & said hi, I asked how long he has been boxing & he said “with my guys name got me into boxing my junior year until he got locked up a couple months ago over stupid shit” I asked if his friends name was my guys last name he said yes, so I told him a little about his friend & I then he was finding out stuff about his case & why we haven’t heard from the trusted friend, the trusted friend left because he couldn’t take the pressure (I forgot to mention that my guy brought his trusted friend out of drugs by bringing him into boxing), the trusted friend always told me that’s his brother & he saved my life, but he left due to the pressure. so it made sense why I haven’t heard from him. but oh my gosh, it’s so beautiful how highly they speak of my guy! but then I last found out that my guy might get 25 to life, no bail or parole. & I don’t know how to feel.. at all, I really felt like he was the one for me & I feel that he got snatched from me. I can’t see him, I can’t call him, I know nothing about his family or their social media at least.. I just don’t know how to feel.

I’m so tired of everyone telling me something’s fishy or why do I feel the way I do about someone I haven’t met.. no one has any idea how amazing he was to me. all these dicks & he isn’t towards me, he was supposed to be the one for me.