This may be a long post so I apologize in advance but I’m seeking some real advice .

*Disclaimer : Im currently in a relationship with an amazing man who I love very much . We haven’t been together very long just under 2 years . He’s literally all I’ve ever wanted in guy *

The story / question :

Prior to meeting my current bf I had been in a complicated situation with a guy who was my best friend for nearly a decade. It started off by both of us being dumped within the same couple of weeks . So we spent a lot of time together he genuinely was my best friend and I didnt see him as anything else . One night we celebrated my birthday and we drank too much and I stayed over his house ( which was normal for us he usually slept on the couch ) ... but idk what happened or how we ended up kissing and having sex. I remember him saying “ i love you “ after and I didn’t say anything back but I hugged him and got up and went to sleep on the couch. I actually drank way too much that night and only have snipits of memory of what had happened . In the morning he kept wanting to talk about it .. I kept telling him “ let’s pretend nothing happened ok ? “ . And we agreed .

So things went on as normal , I moved to the city away from our home town and he began to visit frequently . He’d drive 2 hours away to stay over my apartment we would paint ( were both artists ) and do a bunch of things together . Everything always felt straight out of a story book with him . Even though we kept having sex and being in this weird thing we’re we weren’t a couple and didn’t wanna be and were both still seeing other people .

After a while he began to become jealous of other men I was seeing & he would look at me as if he was in love with me . He seemed always confused we never had a real conversation about what we felt . We just went with it . I slowly drifted from him when I realized he was changing and it sort of scared me off bc i didn’t want a relationship with him or anyone for that matter .

We saw each other less , he was contemplating moving to Europe and I told him i support him and to go through with it and that no matter where we are in the world we have each other’s backs . Again he’s been my friend for nearly a decade at this point . Prior to him leaving he planned a trip for us to go to Maine, sort of as a goodbye trip . I thought about it , and agreed initially . One day I noticed he had met a girl and I was happy for

Him . So I told him to take her instead of me because I sensed he had grown feelings and it was just too much for me .

The girl has never met me or said a word to me but she’s hated me since she saw me and him and a few other friends at a party together . I don’t blame her . But I wish I could tell her that the trip to Maine they took was all because I pushed him to take her instead lol .

I eventually met my bf , It was love st first sight .

My friend actually packed his bags and moved to Europe for a while . We ended on being friends and that’s all I wanted . I never wanted anything more .

Fast forward to when he was in Europe :

He would call me at night like he use to I would try to keep it short because I never knew his intentions or feelings . He would call me every week always at the same time just to speak to me like our friendship use to be .

Then when he came back to the states it’s like I didn’t exist anymore the calls stopped snd we stopped speaking to each other . I was so excited to introduce him to my boyfriend bc they had many things in common and i wanted to meet his girlfriend . But he would never answer me when I tried to contact him . I noticed he would sneak in conversations w me and then would randomly be rude to me . For two years he’d randomly call or follow and then unfollow me on social media..)

( he always initiated the conversations because he would always ignore me so I stopped trying ) .

One day I received a call after months of not speaking and he left a voice mail saying

“ i knew you weren’t gunna pick up . I finally got the balls to talk to you please call or text me back “

I took time to think and I did call back bc i want our friendship and he didn’t answer . Again I didn’t hear from him for months and he calls me randomly again basically saying

“ what do you want “ and for the first time in 10 years we had an argument . I felt like he was accusing me of lying about his constant wishy washy behavior . He said he never called me or unfollowed me Ect ... I was super confused bc i know imnot crazy I have the voice mail ..

But I got angry and I told him to please not contact me anymore for anything . I felt like I was able to have sex and not feel anything more for him , it’s just an assumption but sometimes I think he got a girlfriend bc he realized I got into a relationship with someone else .

I don’t want any type of romantic thing with him at all . That I’ve always known . But I miss our friendship and we agreed to be friends so i don’t know why he acted the way he did . He pops up in my mind at times and Idk if I should contact him and try to work it out or just leave it alone ? I just want our friendship .

What is your advice ?

Why did he act this way ?

What should I do ?

Also I apologize for my bad grammar, English is not my first language lol ! Again sorry this is so long if anyone actually reads it all and leaves advice thank you ! ♥️