So I’ll keep his short and sweet because honestly I don’t want to go into a lengthy history.

19- got pregnant with twins naturally

22- got pregnant and decided that I was not ready for another child (I don’t need your judgement)

29- got pregnant after one month of trying and lost the baby about 9 weeks in (stopped growing at 5 weeks)

I’m now thirty with two beautiful 10.5 year olds and a handsome 7 year old step son. I’m happily married, great job, brand new suv, nice house, and everything I could want except to complete my family. I struggle with the idea of having another now due to the age gap and where we are in our lives.

Needless to say, I go in for testing in two weeks to see what is preventing us from getting pregnant. I know a lot of people have this issue and here’s the thing-who knew it would be so hard to make a baby. There’s so much science and pure luck it’s amazing, but they don’t teach you that stuff in school. It’s you have sex-you get pregnant.

Has anyone gone through testing and any advice on what I should expect or ask? I guess based on three pregnancies and past experience, I thought I was pretty fertile. I know t changes with age, but when I think about it, it took years of “not preventing” for it to actually happen as my husband and I had unprotected sex for years, but we’re never actively trying. At this point we have stopped because the stress and emotional aspect of it was too much for me. It’s been a year last month since we lost our baby and it still haunts me and my jealousy and envy for those around me is real. I hate admitting that, but it is.