About two weeks ago i found out i was pregnant after waiting almost 2 months for my period. my period is normally irregular in this way, my cycle is always jumping from 28 days to sometimes 45 days. so of course, i wasnt so worried, which is why i didnt take a pregnancy test sooner. about a week ago i go to planned parenthood to find out that that very day i was 10 weeks pregnant. i had came in wanting to have the abortion done then and there by the pill method, but my nurse explained the suction procedure is the way i would have to go for the abortion to happen. i was on board, but didnt give it much thought. im a 19 year old, sexually active, not in a relationship, full time student. i knew that myself personally could not handle the responsibility of parenthood, and i wasnt ready to put my career on hold for a family... especially when i wasnt sure who the father could be. i had three partners within the time frame that i couldve conceived. because it would be too difficult and would ultimately make me feel insecure to try to find out who the father was, i went about having the abortion without consulting any of the men i had sex with. i no longer keep in contact with any of them and knew that any conversation involving me being pregnant would spook them immediately, or they would deny that they were the father or something. regardless, there was no support in terms of my partner because i chose to not communicate with them. and the support from my family and friends was frustrating as well. they kind of had decided for me that i needed an abortion. that i had to go through with it and it had to be done asap. i knew where they were coming from... but i was so emotional that i just wanted them to tell me that i could think about this, and that whatever choice i made they would support me. but it sounded like they would only support the choice that meant i wouldnt be a mother at 19. i dont regret having the abortion, in fact, its made me feel more relieved and has made me much more comfortable with myself. i do believe, however, since i found out i was pregnant, that i have become depressed. ive gained so much weight within two months, went up in clothes sizes, and my feet have even gotten wider. im not for sure that i am depressed, but last week, when i found out i was 10 weeks pregnant, thoughts of suicide did come to mind, and i didnt mention it to anyone, because i thought it was all from the pregnancy. but my self esteem continues to be low, and ive become very antisocial with my family and try my best to avoid them, because i kept most of them in the dark, none of them knew i was pregnant, let alone had an abortion. I guess im posting this because i want to know what people think i should do. i didnt think id need to call a suicide hotline, because the thought sort of scared me and made me not want to think about suicide anymore. as of today, i havent had thoughts of suicide, and i went to work feeling good and happy, and came home with an entire mood swing. i had my abortion about 3 days ago, are these possibly symptoms or my mental health like this for other reasons?