feeling low and worthless

so for the past few days, my husbands been drinking. all those days, he always talks about how i should be lucky to have him and the kids. we separated before having 2 kids, for 4mths, he ask for me back all those mths, and i decided to go back. we now have 2 kids under 2. he said i should be thankful to him because if it wasnt for him, we wouldnt have these 2 boys. then he started saying that theyre cute only because of him. they get the good looks from him. but says theyre crabby and crybaby, because of me. then he said i only look good with him, wout him, i wouldnt even look good. then he started talking about how hes going to be like Jesus, loving and forgiving. he said he has respect for everyone, except me. he can never show me mercy because of how stupid i am. he has no sympathy for me and hes no friend of mine to be friendly to me. then proceeded to say that he wants more kids. idk anymore, its like he doesnt value me at all, the wife of his kids... he sure as hell wasnt drunk. how do i love myself and forget how he feels towards me? i feel like im only staying for the kids. i will feel bad if i take them away from him and i certainly dont want them to stay w him if i do get a divorce.