No clue what to do

Some days I think I'm healing and other days I fall apart . I'd been trying for 10 months for that baby . Waiting my turn , being patient. I remember crying for 7 days straight all day and all night . My eyes were purple and swollen. I cry thinking about everything and I don't know how long it will be like this. Loss is an awful thing and I'm angry and upset and scared and nervous All the time about it. I'm about to give up on trying just because I refuse to live through that again . I lost my baby in February at one day shy of 7 weeks