I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now. Recently, we’ve been exploring the “gentle femdom” side of our relationship. I usually prefer to pay for our dates, initiate and top during sex, and I’m always doing little things like playing with his hair or grabbing his butt. It feels natural and comfortable to both of us that I be the more dominant one.

However, it’s still a little new to me. I was sexually abused growing up and have always been the submissive one through all of my relationships. It made me miserable and while I adore the dynamic I have with my man now, I still feel shaky and insecure about the whole thing sometimes.

Does anyone have tips or shared experiences on how to become a more confident and dominant woman?