So im going to take yall all the way back. We met at work, i looked at him and knew he was perfect i told him your going to be my husband lol. From then on i gave him my all but im guilty i still had guys in my phone still entertaining the you up texts the oh your so beautiful this is what id do to you msgs. i didn't have sex or kiss these people but yes i sent them pics. Time went on and my husband brought me a promise ring and i twisted the story and said we were engaged cause i wanted to be a wife soooo bad. He went with it but still was bothered behind closed doors. Time goes on some more and we get married again i forced him low key because i just screamed bitched and complained till i got what i want. We left to Germany and now i wanted a baby. we got seprated and again i entertained guys via text. *pause* i am in NO WAY saying this is OKAY this was FUCKED up and wrong.My husband went through my phone and found out. smashed my phone in pieces called me names and posted my naked pics all over facebook saying that i was playing innocent and needed the truth to be put out. we filed for divorce and then i guess had make up sex 🤷‍♀️ come to find out after a year we ended up prego that night. we were so happy all the problems went away. canceled the divorce and he was amazing my entire pregnancy! until month 8 when someone at work said the baby wasnt his😡 of course he belived them and moved into the other room and we fought and agured but i didnt want to go into preterm labor. flash fwd the baby is def his they are twins lol. but now we are facing divorce again. we havent slept in the same room we dont talk we dont call or text. we filed for divorce again but i still love him i still miss him i want nobody but him. i miss our family i miss the smiles i miss the cuddles. im so depressed cause i miss him so much nothing i say or do is making him come back. our daughter is with his mom cause im deploying in sept. but i dont want a broken household i dont want a broken family. please help! please help me let go or just fix us. we did counseling 3x already. he is saying theres no fixing us anymore he cant do it.

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