My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 3 years and in such a

Short amount of time we’ve been through hell we both have cheated but And as a result of this a couple months ago he helped welcome a child in to this world that wasn’t mine which confuses the hell out of me really because I’ve been through a miscarriage and a abortion and he’s never wanted neither one of our children he always says the timing isn’t right he wants to travel he doesn’t want to be tied down I decided to terminate my pregnancy on my own terms because he was physically showing me that I wasn’t going to receive the support I needed from him nor his family my family and I have no dealings whatsoever so I was alone a felt my child was going to eventually suffer because of my choices every since I had the abortion in February I cannot control my emotions towards him some days I literally hate him and I go to a friends house or eat a hotel so I’m not around him I was due this mouth and see my associates so happy and in love with their babies is taking a toll on me and making me regret my decision I feel like the worst person ever and he doesn’t see it he doesn’t understand how much it hurts to see him caring for outside child when e didn’t even want our babies I’m sorry guys I just wanted to vent