So about a year ago I was dating someone who was seemingly the love of my life. He was funny, charming, passionate, intelligent, etc. Although a few months into the relationship he began to exhibit a few manipulative tendencies. He’d get abnormally jealous if anyone ever talked to me, not in an angry way, but he’d be soft and sensitive about it explaining how he didn’t trust anyone around me. He didn’t like me going out, and sometimes would do anything to keep me inside even when he himself went out. He’d be controlling and possessive, but say it was all for love. Now I’ve always been pretty levelheaded and strong, and if anyone else was going through this situation I’d claim red flags everywhere and say leave, so why wasn’t I leaving when I knew it was abuse, and why did I love him despite it??

After talking about his behavior to a few friends in day, and them giving back empowered advice, I got the courage to tell him we needed a break. I truly just wanted a break. When I told him, he cried and pleaded saying he’ll change. I wanted to see this through to help us, and when he could see I was serious, he grabbed my arms and pushed me back in, locking me in our pantry while I was trying to leave the house. He seriously locked me in a room and talked about all the reasons we’re meant to be together from the other side. After a few hours I was convinced and he let me out, and I stayed. After all this he said he couldn’t trust me, and so he wouldn’t let me leave the house ever unless it was just to step outside for air or work. In the beginning when I’d try to leave anyway, he’d guilt trip me so hard I just couldn’t go. The longer this went on the more I found myself loving him and complying. After nearly five months of this I didn’t want to leave. I no longer even thought of it as wrong, but as a romantic gesture. I felt madly in love and devoted to him, able to overlook blatant abuse.

After awhile, he eased up and when my family and friends found out they made me cut all ties, they went over and packed my things, and advised me to get help. I’ve been in therapy for 3 months, and have been diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome and PTSD (amongst other things caused by the relationship). I was able to understand he didn’t care about my wellbeing but rather used manipulative psychology to appear to. It’s an incredibly long and difficult process, because although I’m now able to understand why i feel the way I do, and how it’s not truly love or lust, i still have relapses when I miss him and want to be with him.

Moral of the story is that I didn’t know Stockholm syndrome was even something that could happen in real life let alone to me. I strongly advise all you ladies to stay safe, check in with friends and family, notice signs of abuse and act on them early!!