why is it so hard

I could cry, it takes everything I've got to keep it together. Getting pregnant with my first was so unbelievably easy and this time around I'm having so much trouble. My mom and Husband make comments so much every time I eat a pickle or do something that could even remotely relate to pregnancy and it's so hard to ignore. I find myself testing just to stop the what if's in my head even tho I have another week until AF. It's been months and I've tracked the whole way, this last month I even started Using OKP's and had clear results and used Preseed this month to top it off. I'm dreading AF and feel I'm on the verge of breaking down if this didn't work. I dont know what else to do. The absolute mind fuck I go through every month is really getting to me. I didn't expect this to be so hard the 2nd time around. Not one person besides me in my family or my friends has PLANNED their pregnancies so none of them understand what I'm going through. My mom went out of town for 1 week and expected to hear me announce that I'm pregnant when she arrived... The pressure I put on myself and the expectations of others is far too much. When I try to address my frustrations hoping that ppl will back off my mom just simply says, "Well maybe you should just stop trying for a while." She will never understand....none of them will.