I was super depressed while on bed rest the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy. I thought it would go away when baby came but it turned into a full blown mental breakdown. For 3 months I hallucinated my child being kidnapped, falling down stairs, falling into knives, and I couldn't sleep. Then when I would sleep I'd have nightmares about it. And wake up thinking someone killed him.

I still make sure he's breathing. I still worry about him constantly 9 months post partum. Hallucinations are gone but my sleep is still horrible. But now, with added stressors in my life I've had no interest in my baby, (so stay at home momming is hard), no... Hope? Lots of emotional roller coasters towards my spouse, poor guy. Uncontrollable crying at random times multiple times a day. And it's to the point where I'm just constantly thrown thoughts of "everyone's better off without you". I'd never act on them, but the fact that I'm struggling to find a meaning to live when my beautiful baby is in front of me is really making me worry about myself. I'm speaking to my OB about it soon, but I'm not sure where this puts me. I've never heard of anything like it.