I feel lost

I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and our relationship is great I see an amazing future with him. However whenever I get in my depressed moods everything feels like it's falling apart in our relationships.

I was diagnosed with major depression 5 years ago and I stopped going to therapy and taking medicine around 2 years ago. I don't think I'm depressed anymore but since I've been in such a dark place before I feel like whenever I get upset or overwhelmed I can easily just go back to the dark place because it's "comfortable" for me to go back there and feel those feelings.

This causes problems in our relationship whenever I get in one of these moods and I don't know how to fix it. I'm in a weird place in my life right now I just graduated college I haven't found a job yet so just in general I feel insecure and unstable in life right now. My boyfriend is 5years older then me so he's stable with a good job and progressing in life and I feel like I'm just stagnant.

We got into an argument tonight and idk how I feel now this is what he sent me and I know he's right but it hurts. Now I feel like our relationship is eventually gonna come to an end and I don't know what to do.

Sorry this was long. I feel lost and needed to vent. If someone has any advice or something that'd be amazing to hear.