I LOVE names from other cultures. I love them so much that somehow I managed to convince my husband, who hates odd names, to name our kid a Scottish name (he considers this VERY odd). However, we compromised. He got his spelling, for the only girls name we could agree on, or he wouldn't agree on it.

I LOVE my daughter's name. I hate the spelling. It's very gender neutral, which I like in prononciation but was not a fan in spelling of this particular name. Before someone mentions the "but at least she won't have to spell it for everyone" argument. I have to spell it for everyone. Nobody outside the immediate family spells it right. Then there's her nickname. Since we changed the spelling on her name, people cannot figure out that when you shorten it, you have to add the missing letter. This all seriously annoys me, and it's only been 3 months. It is one thing if we had used the other spelling and it was expected, or if people would learn after the first 600 times I corrected it. BUT I changed her name so we wouldn't do this and here I am, still doing it. My argument is that this happens either way, so why change something to make it easier. It doesn't get easier. My name is "normal" and not only can it not be spelled, it can't be pronounced.

Second, I chose a name from another culture because it was beautiful. Some days I feel like her name has lost some of the wonder and beauty I chose it for, because of how it looks written. On those days, I feel sad I compromised and changed the beauty of her name to something so different in my mind. When we did this, I didn't think it would matter to me in the long run. It has only been a short while, so I hope that all changes.

The only thing I can say worked by changing the spelling of her "different" name, is that people can pronounce it. It's not really a huge win for me, because I still have to spell and correct it, but it is something.

So if you're thinking of choosing a "different" name and don't want to change to fit others ideas of "normal" please DON'T! I say this as the mom who did, and wishes I hadn't. If I could do it again, I would have gone on to pick another name. Some days I wish I had fought a little harder to get him to at least understand. My husband LOVES her name the way it is, so I don't think I could ever let him know this is how I feel. He doesn't understand how it could be an issue. Hopefullyhis helps someone else who is in the fence make a decision.

***** Side Notes ******

For those who will wonder, as I am one myself, her name is Finley. The original Scottish spelling is Fionnlagh. The spelling I wanted to compromise with was Fionnlea (I love the Fionn part, it's why I fell in love with the name). I have seen the spelling I wanted since her birth. Since the day she was born, the most common spelling I get is Findlay and it upsets me a lot. Also nobody can figure out that Finn is still spelled with 2 n's despite her only having one in her name, because my kid is not a fish's appendage.

Also, my husband doesn't understand that "normal" names get wrecked too because his is Tyler. He fails to see why I am upset when mine is pronounced with a long vowel instead of the short like it's meant to. He thinks it's no big deal because they're "close" and that's how he shrugs off fixing hers for people even though he made me change it so "she wouldn't have to". It is a moot argument at this point, because he doesn't see it as frustrating so he can't figure out he needs to understand that I am frustrated. He also thinks people will somehow learn to spell her name right, even though it won't always be the same people and that was his point for not spelling it "weird", so we didn't make her explain it for others.

My name is Brianna (Bree-an-uh) not (Bree-aw-nuh) and I go by Bri (not Bre, Brie, Bry, or the most common Bree). My mom was the one who chose "the most common spelling" so I "wouldn't have to spell it all the time" (insert sarcastic laugh here). Not only do I HAVE to spell my name EVERY time, I also have to pronounce it so much I may never use my full name by choice and it's considered "normal".

###EDIT####

I noticed the responses were encouraging me to name my daughter what I wanted. She has already been born and named. I wrote this for the moms posting about wanting the odd names and getting comments not to do it.

need help choosing

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