I’m 17 weeks with #2, my first is almost 4. I’m a former heroin addict, cigarette smoker, and after getting clean from heroin back in 2011, I like to have a couple beers every day in the evening. Quitting heroin was hard, obviously. I was an iv user for years and quit cold turkey. I quit cigarettes when I got pregnant with my first, and that was almost harder. I have an addict mentality and it’s hard enough not being able to drink beer bc I’m pregnant, while my husband brings home 6 packs every other day. I just found out he’s been “secretly” smoking cigarettes and for some reason I am way more focused on this than the alcohol. He knows how I feel and offered to quit drinking altogether but I told him that didn’t bother me as much as the smoking does. I told him how hard it is mentally for me. He seemed to understand but has now just started trying to hide it/cover it up. He just started doing this in the past few days (hasn’t smoked for over 6 months prior to this). It’s making me extremely depressed. I’m mad a lot. It’s fucking unfair. I feel like he thinks he can get away with it, like he thinks he’s smarter than me. I realized just today why he was coming home from work and washing his hands, wiping his face down and brushing his teeth. He never does this. When he got home today I gave him a kiss before he could run to the bathroom to brush his teeth and I smelled it. I asked him if hes been smoking and he said “I had one today after work.” It’s like a white lie. Like it’s true that he had one today after work, but conveniently left out all the other ones he’s been smoking the last few days. I almost feel like I need to see a therapist for this. Does anyone understand how I feel? I’m keeping this anonymous bc it’s embarrassing.