My body is betraying me. its playing games with my emotions and mentality

I go 5 whole days with AF being late, then bam day 6 it literally falls out in a thick/watery muck.

I would love to be growing a Tiny human inside me at this moment. the Joy's of growth and wonder, the tiny flutters of nervousness and overwhelming love.

I still don't understand why? how? or what I did wrong . did i miscalculate? could I have not ovulated? so many questions and not enough answers.

I just want to expand our family by 1 more tiny person.