i’m supposed to be trying out for the high school volleyball team next week (i’m going to be a freshman) but i’m so scared out of my mind to tryout because i have been to any of the conditioning because i’m in a different state with my dad all summer. i also had the chance of trying out for a club that i did last year but had a bad experience because the coaches and some of the girls were asses (i only like two of the seven girls) so i decided i didn’t want to tryout in case that happened again. also it would cause a lot of conflict up here with some things we do every year with my dad.

to qualify for the high school team, you have to be good but also have a 9.30 mile and the only time i ever had a 9.30 mile was in 5th grade. last year it was like 11.?? something. so that makes me even more scared because if i don’t pass it in 9.30 i feel like i’m going to look so stupid and slow and fat etc. also my stupid self didn’t start “training” until a week ago and tryouts are on the 31st. and all my friends r going to be there too.

***I have been so scared to tryout that i have been hoping to break something or injure myself so badly that i can’t tryout. i know how stupid it sounds but i don’t know what to do, i have been on the treadmill every day for a week and still fear i will make a fool out of myself.