Little backstory... my best friend has been “casually” trying to conceive for over a year now. By casually I mean that she wasn’t tracking her cycles, using OPKs and they have sex whenever. She has very irregular periods and avoids going to the obgyn out of fear.

My husband and I started trying to conceive in August 2017 after having my IUD removed in July. I tracked my cycles, took ovulation tests and insured we baby danced during fertile window. We were very lucky and got a positive during first cycle. She seemed happy for me but also acted a little strange. The happiness was short lived as I started bleeding and found out I had a blighted ovum. My hcg kept rising and my body did not recognize that it wasn’t viable, so I ended up having a D&C.; She was supportive during this, but I can’t help but say that she seemed relieved maybe? Part of me regretted even having told her because it just felt like a “aw ya poor thing” vibe, don’t really know how to describe it. I wouldn’t say she was happy I had a mc because I don’t think she wants me to experience that, but at the same time it was almost like a misery-loves-company thing?

Over the next few months I would get excited and end up disappointed after getting my period. We would share in frustration of in laws asking if we were trying etc. It was like she enjoyed identifying as the girls who were having trouble conceiving.

So anyway, fast forward to last month. I got my BFP! I was reluctant to tell her after last time and since my first scan isn’t until 11 weeks, I thought I’d just wait until then. Well she ended up straight up asking me and I told her I was pregnant. She was sort of happy but it had such a “well hopefully it works out” undertone! Just because I had a miscarriage doesn’t mean I’m somehow infertile or all of my pregnancies should have some negative overshadowing. I’ve done a lot of soul searching during the months between the mc and this pregnancy and come to accept that I have no control over what happens but I will not live in fear and will enjoy every minute that I am pregnant- regardless of the outcome.

So, I am writing this because since she found out I’m pregnant she has cut down communication a lot. She talks about everything but my pregnancy and seems annoyed if I mention it. I’ve been super sick and tired so I haven’t been doing too much but surviving at this point. Any talk of TTC is met with shortness or sarcasm. I’ve had terrible morning sickness and she makes light of it or says kind of asshole comments “I’m gonna need you to get your life together lol.” Now, instead of saying she wants to be pregnant etc, it’s “yeah I don’t really give a shit anymore” or “I’m going to let things happen naturally.” She also says things like “oh is that a pregnancy thing or something?” in response to things I know she knows. The tone is dismissive.

I’m really trying to be sensitive and empathetic to her. I remember feeling so frustrated and resentful when yet another person would announce her pregnancy while I was ttc. Do I say something or just kind of let things settle? It definitely feels like she resents me for this pregnancy and that’s she’s disappointed it’s working out. I’m hurt that the friend I care about most is m.i.a during the most important stage I’ve ever gone through. Any advice or women who have gone through something similar?