Currently my sons father and I are separated. He was planned but unfortunately our marriage did not go as I had expected. Pregnancy was emotionally rough. A month after our son was born my husbanf decided he needed space away from marriage. We continued to live together until just recently. We each got our own place about a month ago. Our son lives with me. He is currently 4 months old.

My question is should I just let go of the expectations I have of my partner, as a father. His duty is to come over at 630am and stay with our son while I leave to work. He then drops off our son anywhere between 830-9am at my moms house. We alternate pick ups but for the most part he picks up since my mom lives so close to his job. After dropping off he will stay for a bit and leave. He isnt consistent with bedtime help. I would constently beg him to help. I then decided to stop asking. Only one week out of this entire month has he helped M-F with bedtime. After I stopped asking him for help I simply asked him if he would spend time with his son. He is MIA most of the weekends. His response is always, I'm busy or I need rest. Hello I also need rest! Ive been physically withering away due to all the stress and on top of that breastfeeding. I am literally all bones, I look disgusting. And yes I do eat. So he basically goes all weekend without seeing or asking about his son. Talking to my sister she said to just stop. To stop asking for help to stop asking if he will visit. To just basically drop all expectations. The reason why I push so much is because I know my son needs consistency. Either be present 100% or leave but don't pick and choose whenever it is convinient for you. When I gave him the opportunity to completely walk away he became super upset. i don't think its right for my son to not have consistency. I know that my son will never be short of love because I a fighting for him. No matter how hard things get for me, he is all worth it. He will grow up with my love, and love from those that love and support me.

So basically I want to know what should I do? should I drop expectations and let him show up whenever he pleases or should I continue to push for him to be consistent in his his life? Any one have any advice or experience? No I dont want to take it to court just yet. He is financially responsible, just very abscent. I will eventually file for divorce and figure out custody. But in the mean time what do you all suggest? I would like for this situation to be as peaceful as possible so that I do not take on additional emotional stress. In the end, I would like to be in good terms with his father.

Thanks! 💕