mixed emotions after first pelvic exam

i’m a huge advocate for sexual health, so when they told me i had to get a pelvic exam, i was okay with it. the closer it got to the appointment, the more i felt anxious about it. i was sexually assaulted two years ago and it was difficult for me to do the exam, i was very shaky and almost crying the whole time. i’ve felt dirty and ashamed the rest of the day and i feel like the feeling isn’t gonna go away. any advice? anybody feel the same way?