For the mamas waiting on their turn to be a mama ❤️

Ashley • Mama of two 👼🏼👼🏼;Britton & Jaylen. Dog mom. PCOS cyster. Theo 6-8-20 💙. Wife 6-23-18.

It was 3am. You were still awake. You couldn’t sleep. The thoughts just wouldn’t settle down. You were officially 3 days late. You have been trying to create life for almost six months, and somehow, this month felt different. This had to be your month. It just had to. You felt different. You were for sure going to get those two little lines. “It’s my month. It’s my turn.” You keep thinking to yourself. Not able to hold your bladder any longer, You rushed to the bathroom and opened the stick. You counted out 5 seconds. 5 seconds exactly. You started a timer and waited. 3 minutes. You could wait three minutes. Or at least you told yourself you could. You checked the timer 6 times in those three minutes. This was it. The timer dinged. You took a deep breathe, shooting up a prayer, and readying yourself for what you’re about to see. Your life is about to change. You picked up the stick and...nothing. Only one line. Again. How could the absence of one line completely ruin you? You tried looking at it from different angles, that other line had to be there. But it wasn’t. This was supposed to be it. But it wasn’t. You were supposed to be pregnant, but you’re not. You lock yourself in the bathroom, needing a moment. You never imagined that this of all things would be this hard. You’ve wanted it so bad, you’re doing everything right, and yet, all you get is one line instead of two. You dry your eyes and pick yourself up. “Next month.” You whisper, tracing your abdomen where your baby should have been with a fingertip, “next month will be my month.” And you do it all over again. Because you know in the end, it’ll all be worth it. The heartaches and the let downs will all melt away when you finally see that little positive. When you feel your baby moving inside you. When you see his or her perfect little face for the first time. It’ll be worth it. And you cannot wait until that day is finally here.