Sometime I feel my other half is stranger to me 😢 is that just me

We trying for baby just over two year now and nothing happens we both fine all results are come back fine part from ahm are low .. we both are 36 and I feel the stress make me feel he is sometimes stranger (a know sound silly) we together nearly 5 years . Also we finely decide go for iui and I feel the pressure . As young I smoke and I think I damage my reserve and all this stress cause me start again . I tam y stop only a must try everything and nothing helping 😢 any one can help or feel the same way ? My partner saying if is mean to be will be . That not console me is just upset me more then anything .