This has literally just happened, so if I don't make sense or get a bit aggravated I'm sorry - I'll try to edit if I need to...

So, for context, my boyfriend had promised a curry night about a week ago, but every time it came to the night he'd put it off - I'm not a bitch so I didn't mind and I'd cool something else, I'm not a great cook so usually it's like a pizza or something... Anyway, tonight was the newest 'curry night' and I asked my bf if we were cooking when we got home, (we'd just ran put to the shop before it closed, it was 9:30pm, so later than we'd usually eat), he said he wasn't hungry so he'd cook later. I accepted that and didn't push him, but I've ill the last couple of days and I was starving so when we got home I went to make some toast... this pissed my bf off, he said I was wasting my appetite etc and ended his rant with 'Fine, I'll f**king cook it now!', I reassured him he didn't have to if he wasn't hungry and that I just needed something small because I hadn't been feeling well etc, but he got the stuff out to cook and was acting VERY aggressive and pissed off, slamming things etc, these kind of tantrums are quite common with him... a bit pissed off that he was acting unreasonable in my eyes, I said 'well I'm so glad our evening is going to be filled with you being p*ssed off' (I know I shouldn't have, but I was upset and I'm sick of him expecting me to sit there and take his aggression without saying a word - which by the way, if I had remained silent, he also would've flipped out on me, as he has before)

so he turns to me and 'Do you enjoy aggravating me?' and I said of course not but i don't see why you're mad at me when I literally said you don't need to cook and I will make myself something small.. he gets even more pissed off, throws the pan across the room and kicks one of our cupboards, and yells at me to go upstairs because I'm pissing him off. I walk away and go upstairs, minutes later being yelled at from downstairs to bring his laptopso down -I do and bring the charger just so he esnt have an excuse to yell at me if its dead, I still get yelled at because 'if I knew it was dead why didn't I charge it?' ... I didn't know IF it was dead, I just know that he never turns his stuff off and so it was likely that it would be dead, I said this to him and he has another tantrum and throws a bottle across the kitchen, breaking it and not giving a shit about the shards being everywhere. I clean it up, silently, and come back upstairs. This was literally over nothing, but hopefully you can get some idea as to why this frustrates me, his temper flares up every single day for minescule things, his computer isn't working so he hits things or throws them, he can't find his watch so he starts yelling at me because I'm meant to know where it is.

I'm sick of this, I want out, but deep down I love him and I know I can't leave. I know it sounds stupid to say 'I want to leave my boyfriend because he wouldn't cook for me' but I hope you understand that is NOT where I am coming from. What I am saying is I am sick of feeling scared, blaming myself and being told it is constantly my fault for him being mad - I know this is something he needs to work on but he's been to therapy before when he was younger and clearly that hasn't helped. whenever I try to talk to him about this he constantly says its my fault, as in I blame him for everything and I constantly take from him without giving anything back - in my opinion this is completely untrue, but clearly he doesn't see what I do for him on a daily basis. I'm not asking any of you to be on my side, or hype me up, honestly if you think I'm in the wrong tell me that, but I just need someone to see what he's like, to hear me for once, because I'm sick of crying alone in my room scared of him coming in