So it all started when I was 8. And my stepbrother took my into this little room and started to do stuff.. this continued until I was around 14 and I have recently turned 15. He’s coming down in a few weeks and I’m so scared. He doesn’t think he done anything wrong but it’s constantly on my mind. I haven’t told anyone and I am sure no one would believe me. After all why wouldn’t I of said something before ? I’m also terrified that this isn’t the end. And I’m sure that is the reason I have depression now.

I think about it all the time, it’s all I can ever think about sometimes. I have counted at least 30 times he’s forced me to do stuff and I know it’s more because different times keep popping into my head. I blame myself though. I should have said no more clearly or louder. But I didn’t. I just froze, I wish I did something. I can picture everything. And remember the sick feeling that I felt in my stomach. I remember having baths when I was shaking and crying. I remember I was too scared to wear a bikini. Flinching every time an older male touched me. And explaining that they just made me jump. I want it to be over and I don’t want to be this messed up.

I need help. Do I tell someone ? Or am I over reacting ? I just feel sick thinking about it and I want it to go away now. I have had enough...