SO, since I’m due with #2 in 4 short weeks 🙀 I decided it’s time to write my first borns story since the more kids I have, the more my brain turns to mush! 😹

For 10 years, the beginning to end of my day involved doing IV drugs. Heroin cocaine and Xanax mostly. By the end, I was homeless, my family wouldn’t let me near them, I had no one and nothing. Except my boyfriend, who obviously used as well.

February of 2015, I was in McDonalds bathroom brushing my teeth and bird bathing. I looked in the mirror and knew I was pregnant. I left the bathroom and told my boyfriend. I just knew it so I took it upon myself to walk into a rehab and get help. Sure enough, two days later when my blood work came back, I was pregnant. For the first time ever, I completed treatment and was ready to change my life for this baby. Two days after completing the program, I lost the baby. I was devastated. Amazingly, I got pregnant the next month with my now 19 month old.

My pregnancy was full of complications, each time I had an ultrasound they found another problem. First, a two vessel cord. Then a velamentous cord insertion. Then I failed my spina bifida test. Then I was diagnosed IUGR. It was scary. I remember when I was told I failed for spina bifida, I cried for those 4 days waiting for my ultrasound to confirm it. Thank God, it was a false positive. I went to the doctors four times a week for monitoring. At 36 weeks, my daughter was weighing only 4 pounds. They gave me two weeks and said if she made no progress, we’d induce. At 38 weeks and 2 days, I got that scan and they promised me she weighed 6 pounds and she could continue cooking.

Let me tell you, our body is an AMAZING thing. The very next day, I woke up and I remember I felt these weird feelings every 15 minutes but being a FTM, I paid it no mind and went to the mall and lunch with my mom. I got home around 3 pm and got on Facebook. I never make statuses but that day I did. It said “I’m so jealous of everyone holding their little ones so I’m going to go bounce on a birthing ball while eating tacos and pineapples! I want my baby here!” I put my phone down, rolled over and POP! My boyfriend goes “OMG was that your water?!” It indeed was. It was about 4:45 pm.

I labored at home until 8 when my contractions were 5 minutes apart. I got to the hospital and was admitted. WOW THAT PAIN! I’m allergic to the ONLY medicine they offer so no pain meds but I could get the epidural. It took my doctor 4 1/2 hours to get their to sign off on the epidural. I finally got it but I couldn’t stop uncontrollably shaking. My head was throbbing and I was so tired! At about 4:15am, almost exactly 12 hours after my water broke, the nurses said it was time to push. I did one practice push and she yelled “omg stop baby’s almost out!” The doctor came in and I pushed three times and my daughter was here at 4:22 am.

4 pounds 14 ounces

18.5 inches

The doctors first words were “this baby is lucky to be alive” Her placenta had a whole in it that you could stick your whole forearm into. Her cord was half the size and width it should have been and she definitely was no 6 pounds! The doctor literally walked my placenta and cord around showing it to other doctors and nurses. He couldn’t believe it. He said my body recognized the danger the baby was in and broke my water to deliver and save my baby girl. Thank you God! Had she stayed in another day or two, I wouldn’t have her today. Luckily, she was a healthy little girl other than some low blood sugar so we had a 3 day IV leveling it out. Today she’s an amazing 19 month old diva who I couldn’t live without!

1 week old

Now in the next 4 weeks she’ll be a big sister. Unfortunately, the kids father has decided to continue on the path of drugs and jails instead of raise his kids and be a family. At this point, I’ve accepted it and done what I have to do to provide for them myself. Enrolled in nursing school and made a life plan. No drug high can compare to the high of being their mom.

Baby #2 is a surprise and I’m so excited to see if she’ll have a little brother or sister! If you made it this far you’re awesome!