JULY 13th WAS THE SCARIEST YET BEST DAY. (ITS A GIRL)

I WAS 38.6w PREGNANT AND MY DUE DATE WAS JULY 21st.

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR THE 9th OF JULY & WAS CHECKED AT 2cm 75%.

JULY 12th HAD PINK ON TOILET PAPER WHEN I WIPED AFTER MORNING PEE WITH MINOR CRAMP.

JULY FRIDAY the 13th I WOKE UP AT 5:30am TO GO PEE HAD A CRAMP AND WIPED WITH A LITTLE PINK AGAIN ON TOILET PAPER EXCEPT THIS TIME THE CRAMPING KEPT GOING ON.

TRIED GOING BACK TO SLEEP WITH THEM AND COULDN’T GET INTO A DEEP SLEEP, THE CRAMPING I SOON REALIZED WAS PROBABLY CONTRACTIONS. WOKE UP AGAIN AT 6 THEN 7. PEED AGAIN AT 7 AND CALLED MY MOM TO TELL HER ABOUT THE PINK AND CRAMPING EVERY 2-3 MINUTES LASTING 30-45 SECONDS LONG EACH TIME.

SHE SAID “YOUR IN LABOR GO TO THE HOSPITAL” SO ME THINKING IM ALWAYS HAVING BRAXTON HICKS LOL I WOKE MY BOYFRIEND UP AND TOOK MY OTHER TWO KIDS TO MY MOMS AND WENT ON TO THE HOSPITAL GOT THERE ABOUT 8:30am. SIGNED IN AND WENT TO TRIAGE AND TOLD HER I HAD TO PEE SO AFTER GIVING HER MY URINE SAMPLE I WENT TO WIPE AND THEN I HAD A STREAM GOING DOWN MY LEG. I WAS LIKE “oh god..” SO I YELLED TO MY BOYFRIEND “I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE” THE NURSE HEARD ME AND LAUGHED AND CAME IN TO TEST THE LEAKAGE, YES AFTER ALL WAS MY WATER AND EVERY CONTRACTION IT KEPT COMING MORE AND MORE NOT ALL AT ONCE. SHE CHECKED ME AFTER GETTING OFF THE TOILET AND INTO THE BED AND TOLD ME I WAS 6cm. SO MY BOYFRIEND TEXTS MY MOM TO TELL HER HOW FAR I WAS SO SHE KNEW. (btw this is my third so it was progressing fast)

I FINALLY GOT MY ROOM THEY WERE HOOKING ME UP TO IVS (which eventually had to be taken out because it blew my veins and they couldn’t find anymore, but i stayed fine enough to keep them out)

THEN FINALLY GOT AN EPIDURAL WITH SPINAL BLOCK AROUND 7cm .

I THINK EVERYTHING WAS OKAY BY 9:30am OR SO I CANT REMEMBER THE TIMES. THE NURSE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO COME BACK AND CHECK ME, SHE CAME BACK AROUND 10:15 AND I WAS 8-1/2cm AND SAID SHED COME BACK IN 45m.

WELL SHE NEVER CAME BACK AND I FELT PRESSURE AND THEN FELT THE BABY ACTUALLY IN MY VAG AND KNEW IT WAS TIME TO PUSH. I PANICKED AND ASKED WHERE TF ALL THE NURSES AND MY DR WAS SO I BUZZED THE NURSES STATION AND TOLD THEM I FELT THE BABY COMING OUT SO THEY RUSHED IN THERE FINALLY AND SAID IT WAS TIME (no shit.)

SO IM PUSHING AROUND 11:40am?

BY THE TIME HER HEAD STARS TO COME OUT THEY SEE SOMETHING WRONG AND SAYS WHEN YOU PUSH AGAIN DON’TFORCE IT EASE IN TO IT.. SO I DO TWICE AND THEY SAY STOP .

HE SAYS THE CORD IS RIGHT HERE IM GOING TO HAVE TO CUT IT.

EVERYONE SEES ITS AROUND HER NECK BUT I DIDN’T PUT 2&2 TOGETHER TO THINK IT WAS WRAPPED AROUND HER NECK BUT IT WAS 3 TIMES AND NEVER TOLD ME. SO THEY CUT IT I PUSH HER OUT AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY SHES BORN EXPECT IM CONFUSED ON WHY SHE WAS SO BLUE AND PURPLE..

THE DOCTOR IS SILENT AND THE NURSE SAYS “SOMETIMES THAT IS NORMAL IN COLOR” (because they just got squeezed out basically)..

I KNEW SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT BUT WAS STILL HAPPY TO SEE MY BABY, WHEN THEY PUT HER ON MY CHEST THEY WERE SUCKING HER NOSE AND THROAT AND SHE WASN’T CRYING OR MAKING ANY NOISE SO THEY TOOK HER OFF OF ME AND RAN HER TO THE CRIB WITH WARMER THING TO SUCK HER MORE AND STILL NOTHING SO THEH FLOP HER AROUND TRYING TO GET HER TO CRY THATS WHEN I KNEW SHE WAS GONE,

I SAID NO! AND STARTED BALLING MY EYES OUT FEELING THE WORSE PAIN AND FEAR I HAVE EVER FELT AND KNOWING THROUGHOUT MY PREGNANT SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN SHE WAS BORN JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHAT.

THEY PUT THE OXYGEN MASK ON HER AND DID CHEST COMPRESSIONS AND THE HARDEST PART WAS SEEING THEM WORK AND NOTHING HAPPENING AND JUST SEEING MY BABY FLOP AROUND.

FINALLY A CRY!!! THE BIGGEST SIGN OF RELIEF AND JOY AND THANKFULNESS.

THE WORST SCARIEST PART IS OVER!

SHE WAS OKAY AND WAS BORN AT 11:53am WEIGHING 8.9lbs 20-1/2inch.

HER NAME IS KYLIE BRIELLE AND I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO HAVE MY BABY AND COULDN’T EVEN DESCRIBE THE PAIN AND HEARTACHE OF ALMOST LOSING YOUR BABY BUT FEELING LIKE YOU DID COMPLETELY. ITS HORRIBLE AND ITS NO JOKE. WHEN YOU HAVE AN INSTINCT AND PEOPLE SAY “don’t think that way everything will be just fine” NOBODY KNOWS, YES ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. NO ITS NOT SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO NO ITS NOTHING YOU CAN PREPARE YOURSELF FOR. THINGS JUST HAPPEN AND ITS SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER EVER FORGET OR STOP THINKING ABOUT. I STILL CRY TODAY THINKING OF HOW HORRIBLE THAT MOMENT WAS.

I WAS HAPPY TO SEE HER BUT MY FACE DOESN’T SAY JOY OF HAPPINESS.. I WAS SCARED AND CONFUSED OF HER COLOR WHICH WAS DARKER IN PERSON.. PLUS SHE WASN’T MOVING OR ANYTHING..

THEY TOOK HER FROM ME AND ALL WE COULD ALL DO WAS CRY.. ME FEELING I AM LIFELESS AND WORTHLESS, FEELING I JUST WENT THROUGH THE MOST AMAZING TIME IN LIFE OF BIRTHING A CHILD TO THINKING IM NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO KEEP HER OR TAKE HER HOME. THOUGHTS OF IM GOING TO SIT IN THIS HOSPITAL AND GO HOME WITHOUT MY BABY. ALL THE WORST FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT SOME MOTHERS ACTUALLY GO THROUGH THAT IS SO SO HEARTBREAKING IS THE WORST.

HEARING HER CRY HELPED US DRY SOME TEARS UP BUT STILL SCARED SHE HAS HER OXYGEN MASK ON.

THEY FINALLY GAVE HER BACK AND IVE NEVER BEEN SO STRESSED HEARTBROKEN AND HAPPY ALL IN ONE MOMENT.

AFTER ALL THE TRAGIC OF A HECTIC HORRIBLE HAPPY DAY SHE CAME THROUGH STRONG AS EVER AND SHE IS SO SO LOVED 💕

HERES SOME PICS I TOOK WHEN WE GOT HOME!

TODAY SHE IS ONE WEEK AND 5 DAYS 💜👶🏼