Feeling alone and sad

I should be starting my period or pregnant, but currently I have no signs of either. I feel like this is going to be a crazy long cycle again.

My longest cycle was 69 days. The last few months I have been balancing out with my cycles being about 40 days. Today is cycle day 42. Why can't my body be normal!?! Of course this is the first cycle I didn't use OPKS for, so I'm not sure when or if I ovulated. Grrrr.

Thanks for reading. I just need to get it off my chest. Any support would be great, even just words of understanding!