I’m really hoping all you older women can really help me out with this one because I’m stuck.

My mom passed about 7 months ago and it’s really sucks. She left behind me (I just turned 20), my little sister (9) and my dad and my eldest sister (25) *she lives across the country*

Well as of now I guess I’m the mother figure and it sucks. Don’t get me wrong I love the hell out of my sister and my family. But all I do is watch my 9 year old sister. I had to put my education on hold for the summer to take care of her. I have no friends (I have my boyfriend here but he obviously has his own life), no one really talk to. I can’t get a job, and we live in a super small town so there’s nothing to do here. I’ve put my life on hold to take care of my sister and quite honestly I don’t think it’s fair.

I watch my sister 7 days of the week ALL DAY from like 6am-5pm and then when my dad comes back he hangs out with his friends on some days and it sucks a lot.

I love my sister please don’t get me wrong but I feel like my dad is makin me fulfill a position that I don’t know about. It sucks, I have no social life, I don’t make $$ for me to take her out. I don’t even get to know much of my surroundings bc I have to watch her. And I can’t make friends bc I have to watch her all the time, and if I did have friends she would have to be with me and it’s weird. I should be able to act and be my age .

I know next summer my dad is gonna want me to come home AGAIN and watch her but I need there to be moderation. I want to be able to get a job, meet the people in my community and just simply have time to myself. It sucks. I’m not happy, I don’t want to be a mom but that’s basically what I am. And it sucks.

Once again I love my family to death I would take a bullet for each of them. But I don’t have much time to myself to heal from my moms death and I’ve put so much on hold already.

My life isn’t mine anymore.