but wasn't love supposed to make us stronger?

Everyone is usually always there for me, except for when i need them the most. I say this a lot that i am good at letting people/things go. You know why? Because i try so hard to keep them, till i realise they are not worth it. And i have two options either suffer or breath. and i chose to let go. But i think no one is ever worth it, no one will ever be. Does it mean i'll have to let go of everyone and everything? I was very positive once again when i found you, when it all started. but you are just an other human. and how can i expect someone to be there for me, when i am never there for anyone? Karma is doing the job right. And i knew i shouln't expect so much from you. But i wanted to. I am so tired of pretending how strong i am, and how i don't need anyone. I do. I too just like everyone else want a constant in a world full of variables. But none of us get what we want. Today, just like a bunch of other days, i wanted a shoulder to cry on. And here i am, hiding near the auditorium, hoping you'll come out of nowhere and wipe my tears. And like always i knew no one will come. Maybe i am not your constant. Maybe there are no constants and just a bunch of variables, who think they are constant till you change its value. I waited an hour and a half for you, you never showed up. I missed seeing your face, listening to your voice, seeing you laugh. But did you? Every single day i hoped i'll recieve a text of you saying, "okay let's go" or "Skip your class"  or simply to come say hi in cafe. Or atleast i'll have a glance of you when you are passing by with your friends. Or listen to your voice of you chatting with your friends outside my class. And it never happened. I came back home with only one thing in my mind, its been so many days, and 3 more off days, till i have a hope again. But then i decided i am going to stop doing this. Get back to my normal 'Me', the 'Careless' and 'Emotionless' me. I don't know if i am over-reacting. lol. Ofcourse i am. I am the girl who says "Theres so much more to life than crying over people or things." I came home and i wanted to have a sleeping pill and sleep, cause i knew if i stay up i'll text you or simply not stop thinking about you. But i told myself i am stronger than this. and i slept, simply to wake up to search for my phone like crazy to see if you texted or not. There was no text.. I felt so weak. Wasn't love supposed to make us stronger? Look what you've done to me.