FTM to my LO who is almost 6 months. I’ve been on maternity leave the whole time with him being the primary caregiver because his dad works overtime at his regular job but has had a second job since April working on the boat catching crab and fish. He’s gone a lot!

Anyway random vent for the night while I lay in bed feeling sick.... I’m scared to have another one. I’m scared to be pregnant again. I’m scared to give birth again. I’m scared I won’t know what to do as he grows up. I’m not even pregnant haha but we thought we wanted more kids in the next 5 years or so. I recently brought my LO to the park to watch the older kids play and dog watch however that even made me nervous of what’s to come. Toddlers running around getting hurt or moving toward the road or throwing a ball at other kids (I know that this isn’t wrong they are just curious little human beings exploring the world) I recently had a visit with my childhood best friend who had a toddler full of energy. Even as I write this I’m calming myself down to some degree but mommin ain’t easy. I think I’m just tired and need a break. I love my little guy more than anything in this world. A few weeks ago I was so thrilled at the idea of having more but now it just seems like so much work. I know it’ll get easier maybe not easier but I’ll learn the tricks of the trade. Even as I continue to write I think I really really really need a break.

Shoutout to all you mommas

I’m sitting here worrying about what’s to come when its not even happening yet.