I hate this SO much

I’m 12 dpo and 2 days before AF is due to arrive. I’ve had a sore throat from 7-10 dpo, I’ve had frequent urination for roughly 3 days now, some on and off cramping in my abdomen and lower back, tender breasts but recently this morning my nipples are extremely sensitive to touch especially the right one, and leaked just a tad bad last night after my shower. They hurt. I’ve also had some indigestion but not much. I haven’t tested at all because I’m trying not to let myself down. This is the first cycle I’m actively trying again since the breakup with my abusive ex 9 months ago. And the first time I’ve tested for when I O’d. I’m trying not to symptom spot because I know that can delay AF, but idk it’s so hard not to. I just hate this so much. This whole process sucks.