I just read about a women who talked about not wanting kids or marriage. And seeing her post made me feel so much better about myself. Because I feel the exact same way. Ik I’m still super young, but just like the woman said, the older I get the more I don’t want kids. And I’ve come to a realization recently that I don’t want marriage.

The thought of being tied to someone in the way that marriage or children would make it, makes me feel sick. I want to be able to say, “Hey, I don’t really think this is working out” and then be able to leave without anything still tying us together or having to go through the process of divorce. I’ve watched two divorces with my parents and that in itself has scarred me and I never want to go through that, let alone put my kids through that.

The kind of relationship that I would want in the future is definitely not the traditional relationship that most people think of, and that has made me believe that I won’t be able to find a real long term relationship. And I’m slowly coming to terms with that and maybe that’s best?

But, I once read about a woman’s relationship. And she was saying that her and her partner have separate rooms in the house and respect each other’s alone time. There was a lot more but I can’t quite remember the details. But reading about her relationship was life changing. I had never heard of anything like it and it makes me believe that relationships like that are possible.

Something else that has been getting me thinking lately is that. I love boys and girls. And that I have a history of thinking about other people while in a relationship. Ik that’s shitty, but I have never cheated on any of my partners and feel extremely guilty every time it happens. But because of this, I’ve been considering polygamy. And Ik it can be difficult to control and adjust, but I’m really starting to think that that might be the way to go. I’m worried that I wont be able to find someone willing to be in a relationship like that though.

Sorry about such a long post. I can’t really talk about this stuff to anyone, so what better place to post this? Thank you to anyone who made it this far.