How not to focus on TTC?

Question

Hey all,
I’m turning 35 in september and been TTC for 7 months now, every month has been disappointing for now. We have no children yet. 
While friends of mine get/got pregnant after only a few attempts I’m gering worried. Worried I’m getting too “old” and that I don’t have any eggs left and so on... 
Some people tell me not to focus on TTC and I’m trying so hard to do so, but how is that even possible when you want to creat a family so badly. Even when I’m trying to take my mind off it, my bf is talking about babies and our desire. 
Last month I tried to focus on healthy living, healthy food... 
Any tips on not to worry, be more relaxed, taking my mind of TTC, ... anything... are welcome. 
Feeling a bit down now that I had another BFN..

Answer

I’m 35, similar situation as you, had been trying for a year but just found out I’m pregnant a few weeks ago. ☺️It was so hard not to obsess and be impatient! I got the glow app early on when we decided to start trying and honestly I think the #1 most effective thing I did during my “TTC” journey was to just delete the app. I just found the social media aspect to be a huge time-suck, and I felt like things I was reading on there just perpetuated my own obsessive worrying. I saw so many things on there I can’t unsee (pictures of strangers’ vaginal secretions!?🤨). I know the community aspect of the app is really helpful and supportive for some people, but it just wasn’t for me. Just too much of a distraction and was filled with so much misinformation. I used a different app to start tracking my periods - nothing fancy - just when they started and ended. I didn’t track intercourse or pay attention to ovulation days predicted by the apps. I also think the acronyms (BD, LO, DH) are kind of annoying. Anyways, I started a summer break from grad school, I tried to relax, stopped paying attention as much, and BLAMMO. one day my boobs felt funny and sure as shit I was pregnant! There were 2 lines, clear as day. No squinting at faint ghost lines, it wasn’t first morning urine, it was just there. I know finally getting to see a positive test makes me a very lucky girl and I’m fortunate to have conceived after all without needing any further testing or intervention, which is something I had discussed with my OB prior to finding out. I’m not saying “just do what I did and you’ll be fine!” Because obviously everyone is different. But I wanted to share in case it is helpful. Hang in there! It’s a tough age to be trying because so many friends are already pregnant or parents and you feel left behind, but try to relax and know you have LOTS of time to keep trying. 
And yes I realize the irony that I’m giving this advice via the Glow app community, but the app has been super helpful so far for all things pregnancy related. 😁

Answer

I'm in a similar situation. I do two things: 1) started charting BBT. it makes you think about it more rather than take your mind off it,  but it's constructive and helps gather data. if you get to the point where you seek help from your doc, you can show them your charts. they might ask you to do BBT anyway - this way you already have it and aren't wasting time. 2) I always plan something fun to do around the time I expect af. preferably something that I wouldn't get to enjoy if I was pregnant (like a wine tasting or an art project). then I have that to focus on even when I'm so disappointed. hope that helps!

Answer

If it was my situation I would go see a fertility specialist and say you’ve been trying for a year now. Get some tests done and see what your options are

Answer

Girl. I’ll be 34 in November. I’m right there with ya! I feel like it’s never going to happen! Baby Dust to ya!!! ✨✨✨

Answer

are you trying for your first child?

Answer

It won’t help you not focus, because it would mean starting every single day thinking about TTC, but I suggest charting if you haven’t tried that. Not knowing exactly when you ovulate and are fertile could be the only thing keeping you from your BFP. Check out the book in my profile pic, I read that and got pregnant right away. Knowledge is power.

How not to focus on TTC?

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