I have no idea where to post this, but I need to know if anyone else went through this, feeling really alone lately. It’s been 11 months since the love of my life cheated on me and I found out. It’s been 12 months since he bar hopped with woman, and hid it from me it’s been 13 months since he revived bikini pictures from some woman. But yet he still claims to love me, but continues to lie to me. We moved towns, we got new jobs, we tried it all. But the out burst of anger he has all the time yelling at me, telling me I’m fucked up etc. It honestly is just not what I want and I know people go Than why are you still in this? Because leaving an abusive relationship isn’t as easy as you think. When your about to leave they manipulate you into thinking their sweet and kind. So we have two children together, a failed engagement, and I do it all on my own well he watches tv. I do all the chores, taking care of the kids and animals, paying bills for him. I’m just mentally exhausted. I mentally have nothing left to give yes I love him but not who he is now. And I have no idea how to push my self to leave. I noticed I’m sick all the time now, when my anxiety hypes up I physically throw up, when I feel down I don’t eat, I noticed I zone out so easily that I’ll be driving and not remember the drive because I zoned out. I am mentally and physically becoming affected by this relationship. And I feel very tired to the point where hours of sleep does nothing to me. My family isn’t very supportive tbh, all my friend have come and gone because they couldn’t stand the way he treated me. I just feel stuck, like I’m drowning. It’s the worst feeling ever.