It’s never been a cake walk. Our whole relationship I’ve felt like I’ve only been waiting for him to live me. We’re 7 years apart and I just feel like he’s too old not to know what I need from him as a husband. He’s told me he only stayed cause of our kids. It wasn’t until last year he admitted that...we have 3 kids and a 4th on the way. I didn’t want to be pregnant but definitely didn’t take any precautions. I literally found out after staying with my dad. We’ve been abusive towards each other. At first I’d never disrespect him cause I wanted the relationship so bad but after years of not getting what I wanted it just happened. We’ve been married 5 years but together for 8. Seems like it’s always been a fight. I feel like I forced it to work when he didn’t want that. We were friends & that’s what he wanted from me until I got pregnant. I did everything a man would want his wife to do. He’d come home & leave or bring company who wouldn’t even speak & he didn’t have a problem with it. He’s told me to “do me” “live my life”...basically everything to push someone away. So of course his ex girlfriends pop into the mix. He’s even gotten numbers from females he’s had sex with just to keep in touch with them. I’m not an ugly chick & myself esteem isn’t that low so I cheated on him last year. I just feel like a divorce is the only thing left as we still have very ugly arguments.