idk where to begin! iam 24yrs old, and I have 3 bi-racial children (3yo) (1.5yo)& (4mo.). ive been thru so much in last 3.5years. my first sons dad was murdered when I was 20yrs old and he never had chance to meet him. and my 2nd babies daddy doesnt want to be with me because of my family. especially my dad!! now I love my dad but I cant get past how ignorant, selfish, and disgusting he is. he despises me and i know it. he gets drunk everyday and goes on a rampage of how big of an embarrassment iam to him. and how i

could do that to him. I am so tired, I'm not happy in life. I have 3beautiful children and I try so hard to be happy but i can't wen I feel i need to please the ones I love. this is my life, i choose not to be like my parents, negative and judgmental people. I've always accepted everyone that came my way.. now even tho me and my child's father are t together rn we are trying to have another baby. problem is my dad just told me 2days ago that if i end up pregnant again, or ever have anomther kid he will kill someone and hearing

that im very scared. my dad has been very depressed for last 12yrs.and last year he drank antifreeze at his job and tried commiting suicide cuz i was pregnant with my daughter at the time. I dont know wwhy i can't have kids without hurting my dad. why cant I live my life without my dad naking me feel like shit.. I'm not 15and pregnant. I am 3kids in what is his problem and why is he making me suffer for wanting a family. why do i need to do what he wants and hes making my family miserable.. I live my dad why is he making me choose my own family over him. why is it such a crime for me? I cant handle all this family pain.. I need some advice on whether I need cut my dad out of my life.. but I'm scared if i do that he will take his own life! why r my parents selfish?? heko someone