my boyfriend gives me every reason to leave him. Tells me hates me and he wishes he was with other girls and that he's over it and then the next day pretends it never happens. Never hit me but has kicked my in bed a couple times because he was angry and I believe thats how it starts. He can be really selfish and it just hurts and he never cares. But when he's good I feel the happiest I ever feel. like nothing compares.

but I feel like I can't leave because I just love him so much when it's good. I hate myself over it because I don't want it to end. I don't. I want to fix it so bad but it's hopeless

I don't want anyone to tell me to just leave but I do want someone to comfort me if they've felt this way before