Nagging husbands

Do y’all have husbands who complain about things you do? My husband does and he’s starting to do it more often. If I try to stand up for myself he’ll say I’m being “defensive” or “too emotional like his mom”. I don’t complain or point out some of his faults because his mom did it to him and pretty much made him feel like shit. How do y’all cope with this?