For me, so far this is the hardest part about parenting.

History: bassinet co slept with her until she was 6 months. Nurses in demand.

At 6 months we did do CIO. It worked well and I was able to lay her down, whimper for a few mins, walk out and by the time I got to the living room she was asleep.

Then we had parents and family visiting, illness and camping trips and all that went out the window. We bed shared for a few months.

Then I tried CIO again, this time she didn’t cry long but stayed awake, sitting up, in her crib. I kept watching her and by 3:30 am I gave up, and brought her back to my bed. I can’t bare to make her wait for me that long.

Now we have an established bed time routine at 9. I’m trying to get her back in her crib. Every night it’s a hit or miss. Tonight sees to be a miss. I haven’t left the room but I’m sitting across the room for her, say thing things like I love you, lie down darling. But she’s standing and still crying. I’m not sure what to do. If I leave the room she will stay awake all night again. She is SOOO TIRed. We can’t bed share anymore. My back hurts to much and we aren’t getting good rest.

I’m desperate to find An ally. Someone who isn’t going to judge but is in the same place. I can’t be the only one.