I’ve been abused for most of my life the first time I was hit was when I was 6.. I didn’t know it would get worse from there. At 7 I told my mother something about my step father and he went in my room ( my mother following ) and yanked me up by my shirt and screamed at me. After that at around 8, I started seeing my biological dad again. At 12 I was using the computer for a school project and my brother said “when are you getting off the computer.” I told him “I don’t know, mind your own business,” and then that’s where things went horribly wrong my step dad entered the room and told me not to speak to him that way and then proceeded to tell me to get off the computer and I said “I’m working on a project.” But he continued to tell me to get off so I did and then I walked over to him and I can’t remember how but the next thing I know I’m on the ground screaming at him to get off me. Then I tell him “I’m going to slap you if you don’t get off me.” And he said “see what happens if you do.” So I didn’t and he eventually let me go saying “What’s wrong with you?” Then he told me to hug him and I told him he couldn’t make me do something I didn’t want to so he walked over and pushed me on the the couch repeatedly pushing me down and I started screaming again. He got off me and again asked what was wrong with me and I got up and went to a friends house... he followed me. I pounded on their door and when they opened I pushed myself in and she shut the door and locked it and he started pounding on it.. their parents weren’t home so they didn’t witness me hysterically saying He’s going to hurt me, he’s going to kill me, and much more.

Again when I was 12 my sister and I shared a room. She brought my brother in there and I kept telling him to get out so again my step dad came again... he told me to go to him so I rolled my eyes and walked to him and he grabbed my hair and forcibly made me go to my moms room.. my mom watched the entire thing play out and she did nothing. I told him I needed to leave again and he took my phone so I couldn’t call my grandmother.. my mom said she would take care of me and make sure I’m okay.. I wish I didn’t believe her. I went to CPS the next day toms them the entire story, they interviewed my siblings and parents. Nothing happened. Skip to my freshman year I’m 14, I had a school-boyfriend Everything was fine except I was cutting, wanted to die, and was done. I was watching lele pons and my step dad comes into the room asking what I’m watching so he listens and tells me there are too many cuss words and I say “You let Claire watch this! I don’t hear any cuss words.” He tells me to let him watch it and go to my room so I say okay and I go to grab my headphones as I stand up and he slightly stands up too. I look up confused and go to grab them. He grabs my arm hard and slings me into the couch making me hit my legs and lower back. I run out the house in booty shorts and a long t-short with no shoes or phone. I went to a friends house but they weren’t there so I went to another and I told her mom and she let me inside.. around 4:10pm my mom calls and tells me to go home. I have to go and I get there and my step dad told my mom the ‘whole story’ and she told me to apologize and I told her I won’t apologize to someone who put their hands on me and she called me a liar. I ended up with a bruise you couldn’t see on my arm and two on my leg from being shoved into the couch.

I also don’t talk to my dad because it’s pretty toxic over there too. My grandmother/ grandfather are letting my dad stay with them and my other grandma lives on her own and is pretty close to my mom.

Now I’m 16, I don’t flinch as much when people put their hands up, I’m still being emotionally abused. My mom threatened to slap me because she said I didn’t feed my cat enough. I still live with them. I don’t know what to do because honestly I feel as though it’s going to happen again.. I’m 3 months clean from cutting. I don’t have a job and my mom won’t let me get a job because I need to focus on school. I have a tiny amount of money saved, I don’t have a license ( I’ll get it in September possibly ), I don’t know what to do.. I need help and I feel like I can’t make it out of here. I need advice..