I was diagnosed with ADD at 8 years old. They put me on Strattera. A few years later the doctor I was going to found out about my family life and my family history and recommend me to a psychologist that specialized in mental disorders. She recommended a male doctor as she thought it would help after I had been abused both mentally and physically by multiple men at this point and she was worried that I may also have PTSD. This new doctor changed my prescription to Adderall and changed my diagnosis to ADHD with a mood swing disorder. (I’m actually a very calm natured person that doesn’t lose their temper easily) at this point he put in my medical history that I was a suicide risk. At some point I started blacking out and falling asleep in strange places. I even remember waking up in the bathtub with it full of water and not really remembering getting in. I also would forget if I took a pill or not and take multiple pills over a short period of time. Not just the adhd meds either. I did this with any meds I was taking. After a few years and multiple dosage ups he changed me to Vyvanse. I was on this up until one year ago. At this point the doctor stopped seeing patients in my town and I was unable to get my prescription anymore. This one affected my sleeping pattern by giving me insomnia and I started self harming in a way called picking (basically I pick at a spot until it’s bleeding and then a scar). I was in college and had just switched schools at this point. I was struggling in school as it was because this new college was a lot different from my old one. I made the decision to not search for another doctor and to go off my meds. I ended up failing that entire year and had to drop out of college temporarily because of the adjustments and some family issues that came up around the same time. I spent a lot of that last semester looking for a job. I’ve been off the pills for almost a year now and I have had a job for the past four months. I am trying to save up enough money to get back into school and try again. I feel like I can be more of myself and have had an easier time dealing with my emotions. My insomnia is getting better. Only thing not improving is the family issues. I’m even trying to figure out a way to move out of my mom’s. I’m in a steady relationship with a guy and he’s very supportive and helpful with any decision I make. I haven’t been triggered once with the mood swings since going off those pills. I can’t say I stopped the self harming though but I have started helping other victims of abuse identity this habit and it would often lead to them leaving their abusers. It has been less prevalent though.